Oh, I have to leave?

I met with my adviser a couple of weeks ago to go over my final semester of college. I felt under-whelmed compared to what I thought setting-up the final semester of classes of my undergrad career would feel like. The meeting went as any other, and I left feeling just as I had walking in. 12 credits. Four classes. And then that’s it. I have applied to internships and now all I can do is wait. Perfect.

I have also met with a possible capstone mentor who made me realize that I really don’t have a clue what I want to focus on for my capstone project. We have talked about researching more on writing programs for veterans and my experience instructing an English course to veterans enrolled in the Veterans Educational Training through Trio at NDSU. This opportunity really came out of thin air (Listserv) and is a new experience, one I find myself absorbed in professionally and in my everyday life. I never pictured the culmination of my college career would focus on something that is very new, and personal, to me. I hate to get too personal on here but my boyfriend is a combat veteran so I take what I do to heart. I enjoy connecting with people with different, almost unimaginably different, perspectives and gain insight into who they are. I think everyone likes telling their own story, or believe their story should be heard, and it should! I think my biggest problem with writing is I fear people get weird when we get too emotional or get “too deep” on a topic. I love it. I want to know what you know and figure out why you think that way. A veteran’s perspective is very unique and is very skewed from the civilian perspective of what or who a veteran is. This has been my first semester instructing the course and the student went from not believing he has anything to write to creating a 13-page short story. Amazing, but I do not believe I taught him more than some basic punctuation and how to use GoogleDocs. During our classes we mostly just talked, and then talking turned into writing confidence. I think that’s a beautiful thing.

So what’s my strategy? I really do not have one, which I think is my biggest problem right now. I’m a lists person, a need-to-know kind of person, so this waiting game is killing me. I’ve already received my first reject letter, while not totally soul crushing, still was a sting. I have applied to a lot of creative writing/communications/PR positions in several companies but I am drawn to wanting to help people, even someone, and right now I just happen to be serving veterans. I sorta feel like a traitor to what I want to do by focusing my capstone project on the educational-based approach project. I also feel like I am so all across the board with my interests that I won’t be picked up anywhere. It is also hard to tell people that, Yes, I’m an English major. No I don’t want to teach. Yes I teach right now. Nope, don’t want to teach, I want to write. No, not like Edgar Allen Poe status, but general content, getting the word out, using my craft and all that jazz.

Okay, so what’s the strategy…

Building my avatar. Updating my LinkedIn was one of the first steps I needed to take in order to apply to internships. I scrutinized over what profile picture to use and what cover photo (if any) to have. I updated my skills, likes, interest and info. I researched the companies I applied for and not only looked for what they look for in candidates but also what they are doing as an organization to increase veteran hiring.

So my strategy…

Come what may.

Ewan McGregor is the unknown adventure that awaits and the Duke is the corporate life that will pay my student loan debt. Sorry to whoever hasn’t seen this but you get the point.




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